I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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