All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
