Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
