do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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