ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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