remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
