take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
where am i from again
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
