ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
