I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She needs sedatives and a leash
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
