also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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