i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
