My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Randomize
