Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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