after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
