All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize