Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
