hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm always down for nudity.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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