I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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