my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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