so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
did i just pee glitter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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