The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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