I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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