The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
