oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
