there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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