i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
