How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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