You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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