Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
