I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
