i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
