OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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