Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
