Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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