i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
