I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I cannot find my penis.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is the high leading the old right now
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
