When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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