i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
