Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize