Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
