We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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