I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
