I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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