If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
