Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
