margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
