he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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