I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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