This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
