I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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