so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Still dying that you shit outside
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
