Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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