I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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