please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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