don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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