I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
