You can't special order awesome
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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