it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
