I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
