you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
