i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
