it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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