I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
