UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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