And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
