i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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