i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize