well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
